I recalled this morning how throughout my life, people have questioned my interests, experience, life choices and how these were all practice (ongoing!) to build more self-trust, to learn to validate myself, and to let myself experience life.
Years of living as a people pleaser and trying to fit in had me operating from a place of needing to appease others, to fit my desires into what I THOUGHT was acceptable, NOT what was truly authentic to me.
Whenever I’d share my interests, life experience, what I wanted to do in life and what I wanted out of life, people would react or ask questions, which made me feel so nervous and uncomfortable. I just wanted to be understood and validated that these moments would make me want to crawl into a hole 😶🌫️
So what did I do? I did what the untamed ego does best and avoided these dreaded moments by suppressing my desires and keeping things that I really wanted out of life all to myself by either silencing myself OR making up a very diluted version of my desires.
Now I understand that everyone, including myself, can react to things that are foreign that trigger something within us. In hindsight, I am so, so grateful for people around me who questioned or didn’t understand my choices because these moments have been pivotal in building self-trust as I mentioned before, acting as moments to turn inwards and tune into myself, to ask myself whether my desires are authentic and coming from me, and practice not being swayed by the energy of the moment, discomfort, and those around me.
Also in learning that self-acceptance was what mattered first and foremost. (Obviously my desires didn’t involve purposely harming others)
Each time you are honest with yourself, you’re giving yourself a chance to learn how to validate yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first but it's a process!
Sending love on your journey
🌌C🌌
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